I started this blog in October 2017, in anticipation of the launch of my book 'Creativity, wellbeing and mental health practice'. The idea was to provide a forum to explore and discuss these inter-related ideas in an ongoing way, with the book as a focal point. The blog was also, to my mind at least, a companion to my other already-established blog Passengers in Time, which has now been running for ten years. If the 'Tony Gillam' blog was meant to be serious - even scholarly at times - Passengers in Time was always meant to be free-spirited and light-hearted, hence its tag-line "...Adventures with books, music and time travel." If you like, the 'Tony Gillam' blog was the respectable, high-minded blog while Passengers in Time was its fun-loving, slightly wild older brother. Passengers in Time covered a variety of topics from books that I'd been reading to books that I'd been writing, and from music I'd been listening to, to occasionally music I'd been making. Alongside these adventures with books and music has been a third thread - 'time travel', by which I suppose I've meant a blend of reminiscences, social history and real-life travel. These posts were often written in a voice that suggested they were accounts of solitary adventures but, in reality, through all of these experiences I'd been accompanied by my dear travelling companion - my beloved wife Sue.
In October 2018, I wrote a post here on this blog called 'Working at being of good cheer again'. I explained that the summer had been a blur, "with my wife becoming unwell in July, her being diagnosed with a serious illness and then spending most of August in hospital 49 miles away." I went on to say, "She is now thankfully at home with me, but needing ongoing support and treatment." In fact, Sue had been diagnosed with a brain tumour. Thankfully, she enjoyed reasonably good health through much of 2019, and I muddled on with my occasional blog posts celebrating creativity and wellbeing, although the shadow of Sue's illness of course continued to have a significant effect on her wellbeing and that of the whole family.
At the beginning of this year Sue's health deteriorated so that, by the time the coronavirus pandemic had forced everyone into lock-down, Sue and I had already stopped going out and about. Sue was too poorly to go anywhere and I had become a full-time carer. And then, on 25 June, Sue passed away.
The things that normally console, comfort, energise and enthuse me: reading, listening to music, writing, songwriting and blogging, all feel like an effort at the moment, but I know they still hold the power to sustain and renew me. You may wonder why I've written such a personal blog post. Well, it's partly to explain why my posts have been even less frequent than usual. But, more importantly, it's because it would have been disingenuous, assuming I was still able to muster the ideas and enthusiasm, to go on writing blog posts about creativity and wellbeing without acknowledging the loss of Sue - something that, of course, has had a major impact on my own wellbeing.
Sue was always very proud of my writing and I'm sure she would have wanted me to continue, so I'm going to try to go on with my blogging and other writing activities. After all, I should practice what I preach; if I believe (as I do) that writing can help promote wellbeing then, after my own recent experience of care-giving and bereavement, now is not the time for me to give up writing! So bear with me and slowly, surely, I hope to be able to continue to share with you ideas and insights that can help us all enjoy a greater sense of wellbeing through creativity.
In memory of Sue Gillam (1965-2020).
No comments:
Post a Comment